Archive for January, 2006

My weekend.

January 30, 2006

Firrrst – thanks to all the awesome ladies who commented on the last entry! there were lots of you, and you girls rock my world.

MY HANDS ARE SO COLD! does anyone else get like this? wehre your hands are just frigid? I hate this feeling.

My weekend was… well, shitty for the most part because I was so sick. I lost 10 pounds in 3 days because I couldn’t keep anything down. I was severely dehydrated and coughing my lungs out – high fever – but like the idiot I am, I went to work anyways. I was shivering and sweating all night, trying not to cough on customers, and faking enthusiasm for everything. I did get hit on by a lot of hotties that night though, which is rare because usually the guys who hit on me when I’m working are creepy uggos. It was nice to talk to hot guys all night for once.

I saw the doctor, she said I had pneumonia – gave me some medicine – sent me home to rest. I called in sick to work on Saturday night and Troy drove me to Chatham where my mom took care of me. Sunday I still felt like shit, but better – I ate dinner at Troy’s grandparents’ house and his grandma gave us a giant chocolate cake to take home. I ate it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so far. 🙂

Last night I felt better, but work SUCKED because the bar wasn’t very busy and no one wanted to buy shots! I came home with about 30$… most of it tips. yeah. not a good night for Lauren.

haha, normally I don’t respond to comments like this, but this one was hilarious:

i’m sorry to tell you this, since this may come as a surprise, but ur ugly, ugly as a dog. and you should be kept inside and wear clothes that cover urself from head to toe. btw, some ppl maybe say ‘ur cute’. but have you heard them laughing after u left? lol i guess not.

HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah… ouch. I don’t even need to defend myself on that one.

I’m thinking of dropping my advanced web design class and taking it next semester instead, when (hopefully) it’s offered in a less cramped and stinky room 🙂 And because right now I’m a little bit into money, and I want to work and work and make more and more of it! wahaha. I’ve got a few web design jobs on the go and some other projects coming up… If any of you camfans want to buy me a valentine’s day present or something… (WISHLIST)that would be really sweet 🙂 I also have a few domain names I’d like to buy for upcoming projects… if anyone is interested in buying one of those, they’re about 8$ each 🙂

Love, peace, and penicillin!

so… tell me something paypal:

January 29, 2006

did you shut down my account because my site happens to be called ‘naked barbies’? or do you just hate camgirls? FUCK this. Now I’ve got 600+ dollars tied up in an account for 180 days that I can’t touch. And I wanted to buy some new jeans, since the guy who said he would buy them for me kindof bailed 😦 GAH! Kindof like the person who said they’d send me a laptop that was just completely LYING. I wish these people wouldn’t toy with my emotions like this! At least I have a job now.

I’m hella stressed… about school, money, work, my car, my health – fuck. Mostly school though. and money.

I’m still sick… I have pneumonia. I don’t even know why I’m blogging. I should be sleeping, but the constant coughing isn’t letting me get a lot of that done.

Sooo… yeah. this blog sucked. Here is something to comment on:

Do you think that the whole concept of ‘cover your body or you’re a skank’ was invented by ugly girls? Like, the girls who call other girls “un-classy” because they wear micro-miniskirts and stuff? Why should girls who are forunate enough to be able to wear clothes that show off their assets be ostracized? I was wearing a very nice hurley top at work Friday night, I actually bought it from Renee a while back. It does show quite a bit of skin, but I work at a bar so I’m expected to dress that way. I was washing my hands in the bathroom and watching these two girls behind me in the mirror (they didnt see me looking) and I see the one mouth to the other girl “trashy” and then rolls her eyes at me – which I found hilarious because I was wearing jeans with it, my makeup was conservative, my hair was polished, etc. When I think trashy… I think tacky makeup, miniskirt and sportsbra with your gut hanging out, wearing sandals from giant tiger 3 seasons ago. Funny though, that while the uggos were calling my outfit ‘trashy’, the prettiest girls at the bar were telling me that my outfit was ‘so cute!’ or ‘pretty’!
So here is what I’m thinking… maybe all these standards that were are in place about how girls are ‘skanks’ if they dress that way were put there by a bunch of jealous, fugly, stuckup bitches?

Just a thought. No offence to anyone – There is absolutley nothing wrong with not looking like what society considers ‘beautiful’ – it’s what’s inside that matters and I’ve always believed that (in others). I just hate HAAAATTTERRRRSSSSS.

The Jared Leto Complex…

January 28, 2006

I’ve always had a thing for boys with dark hair and blue eyes. Oh – and perfect bone structure too. Damn… that Jared Leto is one fine specimen of a human being… always was, and always will be. I have new crushes every day – but they rarely last. Mr. Leto is one of my ‘perma-crushes’, along with Leonardo Dicaprio, Mick Jagger (younnnng Mick Jagger, mind you), Tom Delonge from Blink 182, Marshall Mathers… etc. There are lots more that I’m forgetting… but I would have sex with any of those people in a heartbeat.

I’m so fecking sick that I feel like dying. ha.

Orson Welles, one of my idols, died a month and 5 days before I was born. I find that kind of neat.


Marijuana, Hooters, and why XML needs to be outlawed.

January 26, 2006

I HATE VALIDATING XML SHIT. FUCK. 28 errors – TWENTY EIGHT ERRORS! I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! This shit is so fucked up. fecck. You can do so much more with regular HTML – it’s not as simple a language, but it’s funner and there aren’t so many damn restrictions. I don’t know why we’re being taught XML in an advanced web design class anyways… we should be learning PHP. I’ll figure it out… and before you all go checking my source and shit – it’s not for nakedbarbies – it’s for a class website. thanks though.

I can’t go to class today because of my cough. Troy forbids me to go because it’s so damn disruptive. I had to leave my last class because I couldn’t really do anything BUT cough, and people were getting rather annoyed. We were learning about the earth’s atmosphere and the prof. kept mentioning “oxygen” and I felt… I don’t know – hungry almost. Hungry for oxygen in my lungs. It was driving me crazy. I did buy some cough/cold/flu medicine though, so I hope I get better soon.

My immune system is so bad. SO bad. It’s a rare and joyous occasion when I’m NOT sick. I’ll go for about 2 weeks healthy, 2-4 weeks ill. That’s the way it works for me. I shouldn’t have taken so many anti-biotics as a kid. I’m tempted to go get tested for HIV or something. Ha. I’m pretty sure I don’t have it… who the fuck would I get it from? I haven’t had unprotected sex with anyone but Troy in over two years – and I know that he doesn’t have it… I am just being paranoid. I’ve had poor health my whole life – and I sure the fuck wasn’t born HIV positive. Can you say “hypochondriac”?

I’m feeling rather dizzy right now, hehe. Just got out of a hot steamy shower… mmm. I love the feeling of steamy air going into my lungs. I think after I blowdry my hair I’ll take tickory for a little walk to the park or something. Fresh air always makes me feel better.

I haven’t smoked weed for quite some time… except for last night. I had no appetite, and I was throwing up everything I ate – so I toked, and I felt worlds better. Not only was my headache relieved substantially, I got my appetite back and I could actually keep food down! Of course, it didn’t help my cough much, lol – it made it worse. But the medicinal properties of the stuff are valid – and I think it should be legalized. Hell, if alcohol is legal then marijuana definitely should be. I’ve never hear of anyone dying from ‘Marijuana Poisoning’. And I’ve never seen anyone rage out and piss all over themselves from smoking weed either. I will debate this one till the death – Alcohol is just as bad, if not worse, than marijuana – and it makes no sense to me that one is legal while the other one isn’t. Just wait until all the old fogies die and my generation comes into power 🙂 I can’t wait!

OH – big news! I had an interview at Hooter’s yesterday! 🙂 I think it went well. He said he would be hiring from 3-7 girls… and he was interviewing like 30 – so I’ll keep my fingers crossed. I really hope I get it! But if not, it’s all good – I still have a pretty sweet job at Woody’s – I just love the idea of wearing a hooters girl costume to work every day 🙂 Hehe. So cute! and it would motivate me to get my ass in gear fitness wise! you can’t really hide much with those outfits, haha.

Anyways… enough rambling. I’m outie. I work all weekend, so come visit me, K?

maybe it’s the medicine…

January 26, 2006

but I’m starting to feel pretty fucking apathetic lately.

Your Anus and the Chubby Pickle.

January 24, 2006

I find it slightly perplexing that in a second year university course people start giggling when the professor mentions the planet “Uranus”. Even MORE disturbing is the fact that I’m laughing harder than any of them and whispering to the annoyed kid beside me “get it? YOUR ANUS? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I don’t think I’ll ever grow up. And I love it.

Plug time. You owe me, Booth.

CHECK OUT MY FRIEND GAVIN‘S NEWEST MUSIC VIDEO THIS FRIDAY, JANUARY 27th AT THE CHUBBY PICKLE IN WINDSOR. The video is for the band intra meridian‘s song “held back” – I’ve heard the song, I’ve seen parts of the video – both are swell, so come check it out – because I’ll be working at the pickle that night and you know you want to buy shots from me. They taste like magic 🙂 And if it’s jello, I’ll shoot it in your mouth! Details below. Seeya there, bitches!

I feel like I got a head start on the day – waking up so early for my 11:00am class. I’m going to apply for a summer job at some summer camps in Algonquin park, do my cyber ethics homework, start on my assignments for programming in C and advanced website design, and maybe take Troy out to eat at Pho Xic Lo or the red papaya! mmmmm Thai food… OH – maybe we’ll go to that African restaurant I’ve been wanting to try. I effing love spicy, ethnic food.

Staff Belated Christmas Party at the Chubby Pickle tonight! Open bar… dare I? dare I get wasted for free? I think I just may 🙂

Grandma Winslow, The little mermaid, and Fanmail.

January 22, 2006

I’m really into old comedy sitcoms and former TGIF shows, if you haven’t caught on. Sanford and Son, All in the Family, The Cosby Show, Good Times, The Fresh Prince of Belair, Boy meets World, Full House, Home Improvement, Married with Children, Saved by the bell, The Wayans Brothers, etc. Right now I’m watching ‘Family Matters’ – I love this show. Always have. I’m sure you all remember the Winslow Family and their kooky neighbour Steve Urkel:

For some reason, I’ve always kindof hated grandma Winslow. I mean – she’s nice and whatnot – but she seems so… un-necessarily sexual for an old woman. And I don’t like her acting.

Call me crazy. She just bugs me.

How does Ariel, the little mermaid, reproduce? I was thinking this last night. Her bottom half is fish – so she must lay eggs? I wonder what mermaid roe tastes like… hahaha. Then when she turned into a human, wouldn’t she be like “WTF IS THIS BETWEEN MY LEGS AND HOW DO I USE IT?” Disney leaves so many questions unanswered.

I’ve been getting lots of fan mail lately – which makes me smile 🙂 I love you all. Even if I don’t have time to write back – I do read every email I recieve and your kind words do not go un-appreciated!

Wow – Stephen Harper is in Windsor! I just saw it on TV! I wonder who is going to win the election… ? I really have no stand on this issue – Canadian politics bore me. I will vote for the Green Party as usual. Or the Marijuana party.

I have to work tonight – so if anyone’s in the area, stop by Woody’s! 🙂

I’m sick. As usual. Going to lay down for a bit.

you guys pretty much know by now to ignore my drun…

January 19, 2006

you guys pretty much know by now to ignore my drunk blogs right? cool. 🙂 I’m not taking them down, because drunk me is still a part of me – and when all is said and done, I’m going to print off every single one of these blogs for the last 3 years and see how far I’ve come. It’s just the way it’s gotta be. I’m still dealing with stuff from my past – I don’t think I’ll ever fully be recoved. It was a huge part of my life for years – the biggest – and I don’t think anyone really recovers from an illness like that, where something literally takes over your brain and your life. Kelina summed it up well when she said “It’s like a part of you no matter how hard you try to push it down.” True story. She’s a wise woman! 🙂

My computer has a virus. Several, actually – and after running microsoft anti-spyware, avg anti virus, norton antivirus, the stinger, and pretty much every anti-virus software I could get my hands on – it still remains. Some pretty severe trojans and worms. Has anyone ever had freeprod? no matter what I do, I can’t get rid of it! curse the maker of this stupid worm. I’ll see you in hell. Hopefully I can get my friend Steven to come and help me reformat this beeyatch. Steeeevvveeen? :

I had a three hour class last night… interesting class – contemporary visual culture – but still – THREE HOURS. ugh. you know the teacher is good if they can get me to stay for three hours. I’m usually out in 45 minutes – IF that. I’m so jittery! I can’t sit still in a desk for that long. I need to be moving…. drawing – typing. I think I managed to stay for so long because I had some campbell’s soup at hand (creamy tomato – soooo good) and a black sharpie. I painted my fingernails with it (the marker – not the soup), but it’s pretty much rubbed off by now. Nail polish lasts longer than marker… but I didn’t have nailpolish – I had a marker, god damnit! I also pimped out my etnies hahaha – I coloured in the ‘E’s with checkerboard. I was really, really bored – plus, they’re old – and I was inspired. It’s a design class, after all! I need to be getting some new sneaks pretty soon anyways. Pimped:

In other news, I’m not drinking anymore for a while… ha. how many times have I said THAT. We’ll see how long this lasts 🙂 taha.

OH – and I just got my purse from Jenni-Raie last night after class! It’s beauuuuutiful – even nicer in person. Here is un photo:

There is no way you could buy a CUSTOMIZED purse this nice for less than 20 dollars at a store. And she takes paypal – schwing! 🙂 get your own at

I’ve got to clean my room – and Tick’s litter box. EWWW!

desperate to be happy.

January 19, 2006

ohhh another drunken post. lookie here now – the spectacle that is Lauren ——. All my life there have been people that have pushed and pulled me towards suicide. K____ saved me from death when I was 16… several times – if not for him i would have killed myself long ago – and Troy has again now, many times. my parents too. i would go, in a heartbeat – how would it affect me? i have no future. it’s for them that i stay – so that they dont feel the pain. and it’s the biggest sacrifice i think i have ever made. C___ pushed me towards death when I was 15… perpetuated the eating disorder that almost killed me – slowly. _______ is going to bring it back in no time, i’m sure – even though i dont think he would ever want to hurt me – and _____ makes me want to give up all together. to die, just to make him sad. to make him hurt the way i hurt. I wish that I could go back in time = move to Ireland or something – or california – or maybe to a time when i had to decide between recovery and staying sick – because i would be a hell of a lot happier if i was still skinny. i think that it’s the only way i’m not going to kill myself. they say it’s a horrible way to live…. sick like that- with a mental illness that controls everything… but i think this is worse. feeling fat. feeling ugly. feeling like nothing. i dont know what to do. i really dont. up my dosage? stop taking the pills? stop eating the food? why… cant i be normal? i am not 14 and this is not normal anymore. i’m a young woman now and thuis shit isnt acceptable. therapy doesnt work – drugs dont work – im desperate. i’m desperate to be happy.

I’m sick of blogging. I’m going to make films or something instead. although i do find it cliche and pathetically artsy… i have an 800 dollar video camera. might as well put it to use.

i pray to ‘god’ that i just pass away in my sleep one night so that i dont hafve to deal anymore. how sick is that? i know how horrible that is. with all the people dyihng… people with lives that suck = i’m lucky. i have a good family, good boyfriend – all my limbs – lots of food – lots of money… and that just makes it hurt even more. No matter what i do, i cant be happy. i just want to be happy…


January 18, 2006

When Troy fucks me, it’s a magical feeling – like hickadoola! wahahaha. DAMN… that was good. I have yet to experience anything like it. It’s just like… woah. woaaaah. Intense. I can get off in 20 seconds when he’s fucking me – maybe it’s because he’s so damn hot? or maybe it’s because we’ve been together for so long and he knows EXACTLY how to get me off… whatever it is – I wouldn’t have it any other way. *sigh* 🙂 I don’t know what I’d do without that boy…

Is Windsor, Sin City North? According to recent new articles it is. This city is smut, that’s for sure. I’ve never been somewhere outside of Amsterdam with so many ‘erotic massage parlors’, strip clubs, cigar shops and prostitutes. Yay Windsor 🙂 hehehe.

Time to watch Seinfeld. Bigger blog tommorow mmkaaaay? I’m positively loopy right now and need to like… brush my bloody braces and shiz. I’m listening to Snoop Dogg at the present time, so it’s okay for me to say words like “shizzz” and call myself “Lauren O’Nizzzzle” because I’m blacker than you’ll ever be, bizznatch – unless you’re actually black, in which case I will have to begrudgingly concede and say “touche, my brotha”.

I didn’t really have sex with your mom, btw – it was a lie… 🙂