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Living single, seeing double, sleeping triple… s…

Living single, seeing double, sleeping triple… so is the life of a bartender – and I love it.

I’m so infatuated :)

With these:

Both of which were purchased, by me, today, here:

I feel like the mother fucking king of the world right now. As a communication studies major, I know that by feeling so attached to material items I’m fueling the consumer driven capitalist system… I know that the advertising industry is exploiting my insecurities to make me want to buy shiny new brand name things, and I STILL don’t give a fuck.

But I hear some sort of smooth calypso beat coming from the downstairs TV, meaning that my roomates are probably watching something cool on TV and smoking the sweet ganja… I love me some island jams with my reefer, mon 🙂

Peace.

so hung ovvverrrrrrrr

so hung ovvverrrrrrrr

I’m at school right now, in the library. This comp…

I’m at school right now, in the library. This computer is intended for research and has an insanely noisy and shitty keyboard. But there is a seemingly cute boy sitting beside it, so I had to sit here, just to get a better look.

Points of interest:

-I have one hour to kill before class.
-I finally caved and decided to wear skinny jeans tucked into boots – to school. Just like every other girl here. And to tell you the truth, I look pretty damn cute 🙂
-I’m working on mapping out my school’s insanely huge library in terms of good places to chill. Currently I’m in the West basement computer lab. Brightly lit, very quiet, surrounded by books -no staff around. Not bad for a place to blog or chat on msn. But like I said… this keyboard blows.

Yesterday I sat in a study area on the second floor of the West building. I absolutely loved the huge oak tables and bright sunny lighting – and the huge window I sat beside with a nice view of campus and the river… but it was quite noisy and it smelled like curry… if you know what I’m saying. It’s like there are Asian areas, Arab areas, black areas… and mixed areas. I have yet to find the white area and, more importantly, the cute boy area. They seem to be dispersed throughout the whole building – often sitting with their girlfriends or with ugly boys. I did wink at a semi-hottie upstairs at the coffee shop about 5 minutes ago. He blushed, and giggled, hahahaha.

I am going to go back to the east building, and go see who’s chilling in the 4th floor area. I don’t think I’ve been there yet… not since my freshman year anyways.

This library is filled with people all the time – and most of them aren’t renting books out, that’s for sure. It’s a mecca of studying and socialization. The student center is pretty cool too but I always end up seeing people I know and getting absolutely nothing accomplished – and all of the smells from the cafeteria prompt me to spend 10$ on a pita and a diet coke – which I def. can’t afford if I want to keep up my cellphone, shopping and party habits.

Something kind of dramatic happened in class yesterday. Maybe I’ll blog about it later…

Or now since cute boy (who turned out to be pretty average but with killer style and cool piercings) just asked if I could watch his stuff for 10 minutes.

I was reading my textbook for psych2 and came to a part about eating disorders. Being a self proclaimed expert on the subject I thought that it would be a really interesting chapter to cover. I ended up in tears. I had no idea that it would trudge up so many painful memories. There were a lot of theories – many I’ve heard, some I hadn’t. Poor relationships with the mother, absent or over-protective parents, perfectionist and attention seeking personalities – three that stuck out in my mind that particularly upset me. What upset me the most was reading that most people who suffer from severe eating disorders (like, to the point of hospitalization) will always have the risk of relapse and will usually suffer from body image problems their entire lives. And it’s true. It’s really sad to think that I might not ever be happy with my body or think about food normally. Feb. 2nd will be 6 years since I was released from the hospital. I know that I could never relapse to the state that I was in then, but I still have some of the same thoughts that plagued me then and I have to be extremelly careful to keep things under control. Right now, I’m really healthy – I eat well, excersise, and never diet or starve myself or throw up intentionally – but reading that textbook got me so upset and made me realize that I really am exhibiting some disordered behaviour, mostly in my thinking again, and I was just saddened and shocked to realize that they were right. Dr. Short was right… Glenda was right… I’m not ‘safe’ – I will never be ‘recovered’ but only in remission. The sickness may lie dormant but it won’t go away. That’s a really scary thought… but at least I can control it now.

This computer lab is WAY too hot and I need to do some reading before class. I’ll probably delete the above part in a few hours.

Ciao!

mmm…

I like baked doritos, a whole lot. They’re a bit more expensive than their fried counterparts, but 100% worth it. I’m quite the nutritional gangster lately, and it’s actually paying off this time. I haven’t been sick in almost 3 weeks now, which is pretty damn rare for me in the winter. I’ve been eating at least 3-5 veg and fruit everyday, and 3 dairy’s and 2-3 proteins and I always get enough (if not too many) carbs no matter what. I wish that aspartame and caffiene were food groups – I’d be a superstar. I’ve also been working out 3-4 times a week and taking multivitamins. Pretty soon Oprah is going to have me on her show to talk about how awesome I am – I can feel it. The call is coming any day.

I feel really independent lately, for the first time since I’ve moved to Windsor. My school habits, my health and my frame of mind are all pretty good compared to last year at this time. It took a lot of work to get to this point, but I’m starting to really see that it’s what I needed… what I’ve needed for a long time. I’ve noticed that I do shop and drink in excess a lot more lately though… I think I just need something to love. Like a dog. I wish I had time for one 😦

Um… in other news – the bikini night at Woody’s went really well tonight! Except for all the ugly girls who were giving me the evil eye all night 😦 If I were a ghetto girl I would say “Hayyyy-terrrrrs”! Speaking of ghetto girls, some slizzity slut stole Kari’s coat tonight! While she did look pretty damn pimp in her new Makeveli puffer, I know she would prefer to have her nice Abercrombie coat back – so if you took it, come to my house so I can cut you.

I look forward to a lovely day tommorow of sleeping in, working out, studying, and watching TV. Maybe I’ll even go all out and rent a movie if I don’t get talked into going out and and getting drunk, which is almost a probability. Huzzah!

P.S. = I wish I could be cool and not dorky. I wish you knew the real me.

Eff the castle.

I went to the mall today after school, looking for a nice dressy-ish winter coat. I had in mind a black or white or red or houndstooth wool peacoat or trench… you know the type. Sort of like this one from Marc Jacobs:

Or this Trench by Susan Monaco:

I went to Costa Blanca, since they usually have really nice coats, but there was nothing so I headed to one of my favourite stores ever for coats and dresses – Le Chateau. I’ve been shopping there since I was a kid – it was one of the only good stores at the Chatham mall when I was growing up and I shopped there almost exclusively until about grade 10. They used to be a little less expensive and dressy then… but I love what the store has turned into, since I always shop there for evening wear and accesories. Or did, until recently. I cannot express how pissed off I am at that store lately. Do they not restock any sizes? Have I just been going on bad days? I was there a few weeks ago looking for dresses and out of all of the ones I liked (and there were a LOT) not a single one had anything in my size. It’s so damn frustrating. My size is pretty common at Le Chateau, so I understand that the garments would be picked over a bit, but that’s no excuse. There are always tons of XL and XXL and M left because a lot of bigger girls don’t even shop there. *cue hate mail rolling into my inbox* Seriously though – that’s not a shot at anyone – it’s just a store that is better suited for smaller girls in general. I found 3 or 4 coats today that I would definitely have bought if they had had it in an XS or even and S for fuck’s sake! Like, how do you not have one size in almost ANY coat in the entire store? I am so through with shopping at the Devonshire Le Chateau. Restock your shit, please – it’s not even worth my time to go in there and look through racks and racks of XXL and XXS stuff. That’s what I love about H&M at least – they always have a lot of each size. Maybe I’ll look for a coat there.

That’s my rant for the evening… Back to studying.

P.S. Boathouse at Devonshire sucks too. The insanely poor service doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the lack of cute hoodies though. I am over shopping in Windsor – Michigan has better stores (PacSun, Hollister, Express, Abercrombie, VS…). God bless America!

I’m not self obsessed, I just like attention. Mayb…

I’m not self obsessed, I just like attention. Maybe I didn’t get enough of it as a child… or too much – I don’t know. But don’t judge me and hate me for being such an attention whore. I’ve obviously got some deep emotional and psychological problems.

Everybody loves attention – I’m just pro-active about it.

I have to go to Toronto soon to meet with a bunch …

I have to go to Toronto soon to meet with a bunch of talent bookers. Orange, Eleanor Fulcher, Stylus, Icon, LaCite, Elite and Sutherland (it would be a dream come true to sign with one of the last two – and very unlikely I’m sure). Hopefully I can get some work with this stuff… some acting work or commercial modelling or whatever. I figured I might as well try it out while I’m still young – I might wait until next month though – POST braces 🙂 And before you send your hate mail telling me that modelling is not a career and that I’m too ugly for it anyways… STFU. I don’t intend to pursue this as a career, nor do I think that I’m hot shite – This is just for fun.

Today at the gym I was reading one of my textbooks whilst riding the spin bike and learned some crazy things about coffee. Did you know that over $66 billion dollars was spent on coffee in North America one year and approximately $5.5 billion (only 9%) of those funds returned back to the country where the coffee was harvested? Only 4 companies control all of the coffee distribution in upper North America – Kraft (owned by cigarette company Phillip Morris, who recently changed their name to “Altria” – damn, to be the CEO of that company… they own Miller and Nabisco too!), Sara Lee, Nestle, and Proctor&Gamble.
There is a big problem here… Kanye West should write a song about it.

I also read a quote by Lawrence Grossberg that said “never has a society been saturated by signs and images like this one”. So true. You may think it’s the caffiene addiction that causes you to shell out your cash for some burnt beans and water every day, but it’s so much more than that… but before I get on yet another anti-capitalist, anti-consumerist rampage, I’m going to go make some soup and then maybe drive to starbucks for a grande vanilla frappucino and one of those yummy little square thingies, because my own happiness takes precident over the fact that I’m supporting an inherently evil corporation. Out of sight, out of mind. ‘Tis the American way!

:D I have an awesome new project that I’m working…

😀

I have an awesome new project that I’m working on. It’s nothing big, but I enjoy it quite a bit 🙂

I went to the gym for almost 2 hours today after school! I don’t know what drove me to go for so long, but it was fun. I even made a new friend. I did feel pretty weak afterwards, but I ate a powerbar and a protein shake before, so I don’t think I overexerted myself toooo much.

On the agenda for tommorow…

-tan
-go shopping for contacts
-go shopping for a snowboard (maybe… I might go a different day)
-go to dinner at Moxie’s
-WORK

Then saturday is devoted to studying and maybe I’ll make a trip over to Michigan, just for the hell of it – to visit some friends and what not.

Sunday, I’m going home and I may possibly go break in my new board at Boler… but we’ll just have to see if I get a new board tommorow or not. Sunday night… chillax, and Monday morning, orthodontist! Then straight back to Windsor for school and then… the week begins.

I feel like I’m busy all the time. It’s hard to keep up with a vigorous shopping, school, work, beauty and party schedule without getting sick – but I plan to keep working out and consuming enough calories and vitamins because it really does make me feel a lot better.

Now I’m going to read about advertising in social context…

O’nizzle OUT!